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I’ve waited and saved myself for my husband and she hasn’t. You wait for marriage, your friend doesn’t–and she and her husband have carefree, easy sex while you struggle. Recently, I talked with a woman who described this monumental day in her faith journey.

She’s cleaned up her act recently but she’s only spent 6 months dating the “right way” and she gets the amazing Christian man?! You followed all the rules during your pregnancy, she didn’t, and your baby has something wrong. She was convinced she was dirty and could never be redeemed because of her relationship decisions.

It’s like it doesn’t even matter what I do or who I date. .” Her sentiment is something we’ve all experienced.

How could I do all the right things and him bless her instead of me?

But then, you start realizing, wait a minute, no ones responding back to you.

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Two dates where I was probably settling, compromising and giving in, just to go on dates. Not at all, they were perfectly normal, fine people, just not the match for me. It’s literally a 40 minute survey asking you the same question 37 different ways.

Maybe it’s school acceptance or healing for a family member. She had no idea what the meaning of the word, but heard it twice more.

Whatever the circumstance, it’s common to compare and wonder what God is doing for others and not doing for us. For me, I moved to China to be a missionary and expected God to protect me from what I considered worst-case-scenario. He spared my friends, but allowed me to go through something extraordinarily difficult. Take a minute to let that soak in–Dad says we are his delight, his beloved.

You chose a career in full-time ministry and it feels like God blesses everyone else except you. It’s hard when we are doing the right things, and we see people doing the wrong things receiving the blessings that we desire. After hearing about God’s grace and mercy, she ran outside crying and sat underneath draping trees on her college campus because she just didn’t believe that mercy was for someone like her.

Maybe it’s a husband for you, or perhaps a certain job. At the time of her deepest despair, a gust of wind came and she heard the word, “Tirzah”.

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